Mother’s Who Can’t Love (by Dr. Susan Forward, PhD)

Excerpts

Common Experiences of Women With Moms Like This:
The great common denominator among women with unloving mothers is the longing for validation— to find someone who will say, “Yes, what you experienced really happened. Yes, your feelings are justified. I understand.”

WHAT MAKES A GOOD MOTHER
… if her dominant behavior engenders in her daughter a belief in her own value and nourishes her self- respect, confidence, and safety, that mother is doing a good job, whether she’s a wonderful mom or just good enough. She’s demonstrating real love, in a tangible, reliable way, to her child.

YOU CAN’T CALL IT LOVE

To help you […]

Hallmarks & 5 Types of Narcissustic Moms

Mothers Who Can’t Love

by Dr  Susan Forward PhD

The Hallmark of a Narcissistic Mother –

The hallmark of all these mothers is a lack of empathy, and their intense self-centeredness blinds them to the suffering they create. They rarely step out of themselves to see things from your point of view. All they know is that they want what they want, and need what they need, and they find it difficult, if not impossible, to make the connection between their demons and the hurtful actions that come to define their relationship with you.

Five Recognizable Types of Narcissistic Mothers
• THE SEVERELY NARCISSISTIC MOTHER […]

By | August 8th, 2015|Categories: Counseling Women, Healthy Living, Recovery|0 Comments

When Husbands Don’t Know What To Do Or Say

In the mid 1990’s, Mike and I had the wonderful privilege of teaching/leading a young married couple’s bible study in our home.  The group consisted of seven couples (most of whom had attended out pre-marriage class that we taught for 13 years at the Chapel on the Campus in Baton Rouge, LA.)  I’m very happy to say that all seven couples are still married today.

One of the books we read was The Silence of Adam by Dr. Larry Crabb.  Overall, the book was pretty good.  One topic that stood out to me was the idea that husbands are usually […]

By | July 14th, 2015|Categories: Counseling Men, Counseling Women, Marriage and Family|0 Comments

Youthfulness – Psalm 103:1-5

Psalm 103:1-5

1 – Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.

2 – Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits;

3 – Who pardons all your iniquities, who heals all of your diseases;

4 – Who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with loving-kindness and compassion;

5 – Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Paraphrase:

Verse 1 – “Bless the LORD” – exalt, praise, […]

Acceptance – A Key to Joyful Living

by Murphy Toerner

Acceptance is a wonderful phenomenon.

Acceptance is the ultimate goal for healthy processing.  Life is full of ups and downs and steady streams of change.  All human beings are organic and dynamic.   Learn to anticipate and expect change, growth, maturity, decline and ultimate physical death.  Acceptance enables you to experience Godly peace and joy along the way.  Life without an attitude of acceptance is  torturous.

Acceptance should never be misinterpreted as lost hope.  As a Christian, your hope is not to be based on circumstances.  Your hope is based on the constant and consistent presence of God the Father, […]

7 Myths About God – Murphy Toerner

It’s very important for Christians to understand that we regularly project our human qualities onto God.  Our ability to fully grasp who God is and how He acts is limited.  Therefore, to make sense of an all-powerful, all-knowing, and ever-present God, we perpetually define Him by using human qualities and characteristics rather than divine, super-natural ones.

The follow is a list a seven myths we persistently perpetuate about God.  To have the best personal relationship with Him, it is critical for us to systematically dispel each of these myths.

1.  Myth: God is angry with you because you keep messing […]

God’s Redemption For the Broken

Thoughts from our session together:

1.  When I think like God thinks, I’m free.

2. There’s always another side (another way of seeing something) to the same coin.

3. Did you ever think God removed you from that situation to cut down on the injuries you would have received?

4. Embrace the fact that I’m broken.  Do not deny it or reject it because God works best through broken people who know their need for Him.

5.  Look up Esther 4:14

6.  God never wastes the pain and everything is redemptive.

By | November 30th, 2012|Categories: Counseling Men, Counseling Women, Personal Coaching, Recovery|Tags: |0 Comments

Healthy vs. Abusive Relationships (Source Unknown)

Healthy Relationships:

Non-Threatening Behavior

  • Talking and acting so that your partner feels safe and comfortable doing and saying things

Respect

  • Listening to your partner non-judgmentally
  • Being emotionally affirming and understanding
  • Valuing opinions

Trust and Support

  • Supporting your partner’s goals in life
  • Respecting your partner’s right to his or her own feelings, friends, activities and opinions

Honesty and Accountability

  • Accepting responsibility for self
  • Acknowledging past use of violence and/or emotionally abusive behavior and intentionally changing those types of behaviors
  • Acknowledging infidelity and repenting of that behavior
  • Admitting being wrong when it is appropriate
  • Communicating openly and truthfully, acknowledging past abuse, seeking help for abusive relationship patterns

Responsible parenting

  • Sharing parental responsibilities
  • Being a positive, non-violent role model for children

Abusive […]

Trusting God: Truth That Sets You Free

(from Murphy Toerner)

Today’s email:

Murphy,

I had to go back and read my last email to you (Murphy) to regain perspective.  Feel free to copy and paste that email on your website.  It was a tough weekend, but I know God is still good regardless of my circumstances.  Pray for me to gain wisdom and strength to “let things go.”  It is a mental challenge to consistently tell myself the truth…

This was the client’s last email to me …

“As promised here is my email to you.  The best thing you have taught me is to continuously give up my illusion of control. […]

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