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224 August 11th
It Goes So Fast
A variety of “markers” peppers our journeys as wives and mothers. It is great fun to celebrate a first wedding anniversary. It is increasingly joyful to celebrate successive notable anniversaries: the fifth, tenth, fifteenth, twentieth, all the way to the fiftieth anniversary. Being married and staying married is quite an accomplishment these days.
As a mom, it is incredible to experience the biological birth of a child. For all of you who have adopted, it is equally fantastic experience to receive that newly adopted baby or child. To hold a child in your arms for the first time is a heavenly, sublime experience and privilege.
There are some real highs along the way. There are also some real low points in marriage and parenting. One predictable “low” period for parents is during those teenage years when it seems as though your children have been invaded by “body-snatchers” and you don’t recognize the person standing in front of you. During those adolescent years when they sincerely think you are irrelevant and foolish.
Another big transition time for parents is when their children launch from the family by either graduating from college and starting a career or furthering their education. Of course there were some exciting “high” points too: the sports played, the friends made, the dances attended, the field-trips taken, the sights seen, and the gads of information learned. So much of it is pure fun … and then, the time comes for the kids to launch from the safe-place of living at home with mom and dad.
The whole launching phenomenon is amazing. It is great for the kids who are ready to “get out of Dodge,” but for the parents it is a time of major transition. In general, I think it is always harder for the one left behind to deal with life as compared with the one who goes on to exotic adventures and to new frontiers.
As our children approach the “launching period,” we’ve been struck with how fast our time with them has flown by. It literally seems like it was just yesterday that we were playing with them and going to games. In other ways, it seems like they’ve been grown-up for some time.
Is something wrong with the divine clock? No. We’ve reached the point of letting them go. It is the appropriate thing to do now. Our time with our children has gone by so fast. In the beginning it seemed like those early years would never end: the diapers, the baby products, the car seats, and all the stuff you have to pack when you travel with a small child. As time goes by, we change from baby things to “big boy” and “big girl” things: baseball bags, volleyball uniforms, football gear, soccer equipment, game schedules, and school fund-raisers. Oh yes, don’t forget driver’s education, taking the written test, and then getting a driver’s license. (Do you remember the sinking feeling you had the first time your son or daughter drove to the grocery store for the very first time … all by him or herself? It was pure torture!)
We don’t always anticipate is the sinking feeling of missing our children as they launch successfully. Of course we are happy for them. Of course we know this is the next logical step in life for them. But, it still throws us off balance. It is so amazing to see just how fast everything passed by. It is startling to experience the brevity of our existence.
I am highlighting these things to help you remember that rearing your children will go by much faster than you think it will. It may seem like you are in the parenting doldrums right now, but hang on to your hat because things will take off at any given moment. Since it goes by so quickly; make the moments with your children count for something. Stay as connected to your kids, as you can. Believe it or not, you will miss them when they’re gone. Try to appreciate each phase and every high-point. At the same time, keep the low times, hard times in perspective. There will be low times, but they won’t last forever. Don’t let the hard times define your relationship with your children. Remember to laugh with them and play with them. Be sure to enter their world from time to time. Read stories to them when they are little. Don’t work so much that you regret it later. Make time for the people you love.
Ask God to help you appreciate each parenting (and marital) stage. Ask God to help you stay connected. Learn to handle things the way He would. He’ll show you what to do and He’ll give you the power to do it. All you have to do is ask.
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