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218 August 5th
Time to Debrief
I’m certain that my struggles with my weight and my unhealthy relationship with food are connected to childhood trauma. When parents are busy tending to their personal needs, wants, goals, and desires; how will a child learn to deal this his or her pain? When parents are not emotionally available, children learn to deal with stuff on their own. The only problem is a child’s knowledge of what’s healthy or unhealthy is limited.
When small children are in pain they learn to dissociate by going to sleep. As children get older and a little more independent, they either isolate or immerse themselves in relationships. Either they stay in their rooms for hours and hours or they are consistently out of the house playing with their friends. If there is no one to talk to, they might express their feelings by writing poems, prose, or lyrics in their journals and diaries. Like the safety valve on an old pressure cooker, writing down their thoughts acted as some sort of release valve. Older children might watch too much television, play too many video games, get over involved at school, eat too much and/or sleep too little; each of which deaden pain and numb feelings. They work too; for a while.
Caring people listen and they help us “hold” our feelings. If we are sad, they try to understand. If we are weary, they hold us up until we regain our strength. If we are struggling, they purpose to understand our perspective. They don’t pamper us or over-protect us. They want us to grow. They know that as we mature, we are better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life on earth.
Wouldn’t it be cool if we all had a way to debrief at the end of the day? Wouldn’t it be healing to have someone who listens well and wants to understand our disappointments? Wouldn’t it be great to have someone waiting to hear about the successes of the day?
It would be great if we all had a human being who was willing to debrief with us at the end of the day. Many of us, if not most, don’t have such a person. However, if you believe in God, He is always ready to hear what’s on your heart. If that is true, why don’t we talk to God like we would a best friend at the end of the day. We don’t talk to God like this because we don’t think it is going to do any good. What a sad commentary, but it’s true.
It would be interesting to conduct a spiritual experiment. Instead of turning to your personal drug of choice at the end of a stressful day, what if you were to talk with God about what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. It would be a type of verbal journaling because most of us can’t write fast enough to express our feelings thoroughly.
So, here’s what I’m proposing. Try to journal verbally which means spend some time praying when you get home at the end of your day. Then, see if it changes how you use your personal drugs of choice. May God bless your efforts and my you be astounded by the results.
Pray for me, as I pray for you.
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