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Opportunities
Self-confidence, responsibility, character, and resiliency all find their foundation in the same place. They grow out of the opportunities children create when they make poor decisions and are faced with the consequences that follow.
Wise parents over-ride their own natural tendencies to rescue or to tell kids how to deal with these opportunities. If they don't, the opportunities are lost. Over a period of time, youngsters start to believe that others are smarter and more capable than they are.
Jake called his dad from college to say that his car had been towed. He tried to explain that it wasn't his fault because the parking sign was not easy to see.
Dad replied, "Oh, that is sad. What do you think you are going to do?"
"Well, Dad, I was thinking you need to send me $200 so I can get the car out of the impound lot."
"Yes, son. That would be nice, but since I didn't park the car, I'm not paying to get it back. Let me know how you work it out."
Jake called back later to talk to Mom, saying that he had applied for three different jobs.
"I don't want to talk to Dad right now. I want to wait until I have the job and solve this problem. Then he'll be really proud of me."
Now that's what I call a classic opportunity. Dad handed the problem back and the son discovered how capable he was.
By the way, I'm out on the road a lot. If you recognize me in the airport or at my conferences, don't be a stranger! Come up and introduce yourself.
Thanks for reading.
Jim Fay
Co-Founder of Love and Logic Parenting
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