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Marriage... God's Chief SanctifyingTool Murphy Toerner March 30, 2007

When we become Christians, we start the journey of becoming conformed into the image of Christ.  We go to Bible Studies.  We are discipled by someone or mentored by someone.  We read the Bible, learn stories about God and Jesus, and we learn about the Holy Spirit.  We memorize scripture and continue to grow and mature.  At some point we learn to share the Gospel and we even might go on mission trips.  We do "all the right things" to become more like Jesus.   

At some point, we will begin to believe that we are doing pretty well.  We pat ourselves on the back and think ... "All right, I'm doing good!!!"  Then somewhere along the way, we meet "Mr. Right" or "Miss Right;" we fall in love and get married.  This is when things can get pretty interesting. 

If your marriage experience is an average one, it won't take long for you and your spouse to begin to experience the normal, initial growing pains and disappointments of early marriage.  It won't take long for both of you to see that you are not quite as "Godly" or "Christ-like" as you thought you were.  The truth of the matter is ... you aren't as far along on the maturity continuum as you thought.  This is a painful realization, but it is true. 

One of the biggest ways God uses marriage is as a "sanctifying tool" for each member.  Living as man and wife will either force us to grow up or it will reveal our refusal to grow up.  If and when we choose to grow up, we will grow in unity as a couple.  We learn the finesse of how to "fit" well with one another.  We learn to defer to one another out of love for the Lord.  If we "refuse" to grow up, we will cling to our rights, we will cling to our secret sins, we will stay demanding and selfish and we will stay stuck in our immaturity.

The only way to "grow up" is with the help of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Only He can empower us to face what we are like.  The sad truth is that none of us are as mature or good as we think we are.  Living with another human being, in the context of marriage, exposes who we are.  It exposes each of our masks and our self-effort to act good or look good.  Usually when we are exposed we usually get angry and offended.  We automatically think our spouses are wrong and they are the one who need to change. 

We all need fixing and changing... and only God can handle that job.  So, when God uses our spouse and our marriage to expose what we are like, instead of fighting for our "reputation" wouldn't it be better to fess up and own the truth?

Expect God to use your marriage to reveal who you are and where you are on the maturity continuum.  Let God use marriage as one of the chief sanctifying tools in your life.  The results will be worth it.