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The Importance of Empathy ...
Murphy Toerner
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It is a well-known statistic that over 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. This statistic is true for secular couples and Christian couples alike. Amazing, isn't it?
One would think that Christian marriages would have a better survival rate than other couples. That's because the God we worship is not only a God of love, the scriptures tell us that He is love (I John 4:16). So, as Christians, one would think that we would learn how to be really good at loving others, but by and large we are just not that good at loving other people.
One thing that a lot of couples lack is empathy. Empathy is not pity, nor is it sympathy. It is the ability to put yourself into another person's situation or position. It is the ability to think and feel what the other person is thinking and feeling.
Empathy is being able to let go of what you think and what you feel in an effort to see a situation from the other person's point of view. Empathy is a skill. It can be learned and developed. Empathy is also a very handy skill when it comes to communicating with our children. Usually we don't exercise very much empathy with them either.
Exercise:
Why don't you look for an opportunity to "put yourself into the place of another person" either tonight or sometime tomorrow. Fully emerse yourself into their situation. Ask yourself what they are thinking, feelings, and believing about whatever is going on with them.
Don't try to fix the situation.
Don't try to fix the person.
Don't try to tell them what they did wrong or what they did right.
Just put yourself into their shoes.
Allow yourself to identify with their thoughts, feelings, disappointments or whatever and then express your empathy. You might say something like, "I know that ______ hurt you. It would have hurt me too! I'm so sorry."
Once you've done this ... watch how they respond to you.
You will be surprised what a little empathy can do for your relationships.
Bless you,
Murphy
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