If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, which represents 95% of Americans, you learned to silence your voice.  You learned to not speak up for yourself.  You understood that speaking up for yourself, explaining yourself, or protesting was not tolerated.  Dysfunctional families promote the proverbial, “Children are to be seen and not heard.”

If your parents always believed the other person’s recollection of what happened and they rarely listened to your side, if they assumed whatever happened was your fault,  you knew that speaking up for defending made matters worse.  Most likely, you handle the stress of your family dynamics in silence.

NOT HAVING A VOICE leads to toleration of abuse.  Here are a few scenarios:

  • a stranger touches you in a crowded elevator and you can not protest
  • your boss scans your body when speaking to you and you say nothing
  • your dad took a shot-gun and blew up the TV and you never told anyone
  • your parents ridiculed your thoughts so you rarely express your creative ideas

There are countless ways you learned to not speak up for yourself.  You couldn’t speak up because you “had no voice.”

Thankfully, during the trauma recovery process, you can regain your voice.  In fact, is it a hallmark of recovery.

If this phenomenon strikes a chord in your heart and you realize you lost your voice when you were a child, please consider contacting a trauma recovery counselor.  There is help for you.  You don’t have to maintain a defense mechanism, being silent, as an adult.  You can regain your voice.

When you regain your voice you will:

  • vigorously protest when someone touches you inappropriately
  • direct you boss to look at your face while speaking with you; you might even feel empowered enough to find a new job
  • retell the shot-gun Christmas event to your counselor and release some of the fear you’ve carried
  • share your thoughts and feelings

God created you to have a voice.  Don’t settle for less.

Bless you,

Murphy T