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So far Murphy Toerner has created 132 blog entries.

It’s Normal to Want to Connect – Larry Crabb

A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT …

The deepest urge in every human heart is to be in relationship

with someone who absolutely delights in us;

someone … who has no greater joy than giving to us;

someone who (encourages us) … to use everything  … for the good

of others, and (who helps us KNOW) we have something to give.

Quote from the book Connecting by Larry Crabb 

By | February 8th, 2017|Categories: Relationship Coaching|0 Comments

How Have You Labeled Yourself? Here’s a New Label by Glynnis Whitmer

The New Testament tells of a disciple of Jesus who had an interesting definition for himself, one that seemed to impact his life as well. In the book of John, one of the disciples is described this way: the one whom Jesus loved.

Interestingly, this description is only found in the book of John, and scholars believe John the Apostle, the author of the book, was referring to himself.

For years, I assumed this was a title the other disciples gave John. Perhaps they believed Jesus loved John more than the others. That wouldn’t be uncommon, as siblings tend to have an […]

By | January 25th, 2017|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

Mother’s Who Can’t Love (by Dr. Susan Forward, PhD)

Excerpts

Common Experiences of Women With Moms Like This:
The great common denominator among women with unloving mothers is the longing for validation— to find someone who will say, “Yes, what you experienced really happened. Yes, your feelings are justified. I understand.”

WHAT MAKES A GOOD MOTHER
… if her dominant behavior engenders in her daughter a belief in her own value and nourishes her self- respect, confidence, and safety, that mother is doing a good job, whether she’s a wonderful mom or just good enough. She’s demonstrating real love, in a tangible, reliable way, to her child.

YOU CAN’T CALL IT LOVE

To help you […]

Shame, Guilt, and Fear

I was speaking with a friend today about the degree and intensity with which “religious” leaders use: shame, guilt and fear to control the members of their congregations.  Christians can become conditioned to believe that shame, guilt, and fear are normal everyday feelings that must be experienced and actually CARRIED.  We carry these feelings and they are overwhelmingly weighty on our hearts and souls.  How many Christians do you know who are weighted down with this unholy trinity of:  shame, guild and fear?  There are too many Christians to count.

What are we to do?

Honestly, there are many things a Christian […]

By | January 25th, 2017|Categories: Christian Living, Recovery, Spiritual Maturity|0 Comments

50 Scriptures about God, the Perfect Father

  1. I know everything about you … Psalm 139:1
  2. I know when you sit down and when you rise up … Psalm 139:2
  3. I am familiar with all of your ways … Psalm 139:3
  4. Even the very hairs on your head are numbered … Matthew 10:29-31
  5. For you were made in my image … Genesis 1:27
  6. In me you live and move and have your being … Acts 17:28
  7. For you are my offspring … Acts 17:28
  8. I chose you when I planned creation … Ephesians 1:11-12
  9. I knew you even before you were conceived … Jeremiah 1:4-5
  10. I determined […]
By | December 13th, 2016|Categories: Christian Living, Spiritual Maturity, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Anti-depressants: Does God Approve or Not?

This is a recent message that I sent a Christian friend who knows he/she struggles with depression ….
Sweet friend.
  • Just to clarify. A person will not get “hooked” on an anti-depressant. One can get addicted to Xanax which is for anxiety.  But the purpose of an anti-depressant is to replenish God Given / God Designed endorphins in your brain. There are specific endorphins, which help regulate mood/hope/ resiliency/ etc.
  • Your (my friend) brain and endorphin levels and mine were messed up/injured by being exposed to extended periods (years actually) of having to deal with so much stress/fear/pain/neglect/physical beatings/abuse/and various traumatic […]
By | December 5th, 2016|Categories: Healthy Living, Recovery|0 Comments

Differentiation (Being Your Own Person)

Differentiation (Being Your Own Person)

“… we emerge from our family or origin at about the highest level of differentiation our parents achieved.  Our basic level of differentiation is pretty much established by adolescence and can remain at that level for life.  In the process of regulating their own emotions, poorly differentiated parents pressure their children for togetherness or distance, which stops children from developing their ability to think, feel, and act for themselves.  They learn to conduct themselves only in reaction to others.”  (p. 69)

“By now the paradoxes of differentiation should be clear:  while differentiation allows us to set ourselves […]

By | December 1st, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

Press In or Drift Away

As a middle-schooler, 7th grade actually, I had the privilege to attend an all girls camp in the hill county of central Texas.  My grandparents graciously paid for my sister and I to experience Camp Mystic for half the summer ( a 6 week term).

This camp was amazing!  The activities included:

  • Golf
  • Swimming
  • Music
  • Archery
  • Marksmanship – .22 rifles
  • Arts / Crafts
  • Hiking
  • Canoeing
  • And much more

I really loved canoeing in the Guadalupe River.  God used it to teach me a memorable spiritual lesson.  When the river had a strong current, I had to”press into it” by paddling hard and continuously.  If I stopped paddling or slowed down, the […]

By | October 19th, 2016|Categories: Christian Living, Healthy Living, Personal Development|0 Comments

Road to Destruction

Hosea 4:6 — “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

Because you have rejected knowledge,

I also will reject you from being My priest.

Since you have forgotten the law of your God,

I also will forget your children. (NASB)

It is a powerful and ominous statement that God pronounces over Israel in Hosea 4:6:  God says Israel will be destroyed because they lack a very specific type of knowledge.  What knowledge might God be talking about?

By | October 19th, 2016|Categories: Christian Living, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Menninger’s List of Emotional Maturity

1.  The ability to deal constructively with reality.

2. The capacity to adapt to change.

3. A relative freedom from symptoms that are produced by tensions and anxieties.

4. The capacity to find more satisfaction in giving than receiving.

5. The capacity to relate to other people in a consistent manner with mutual satisfaction and helpfulness.

6. The capacity to sublimate, to direct one’s instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets.

7. The capacity to love

William C. Menninger, MD

By | February 14th, 2016|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments
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