When we are children, and we have a problem with someone, we get angry. For whatever reason, that anger pushes the problem away; we get the result we want. It happens a second time — we react with anger — and now we know if we get angry we push the problem away. Then we practice and practice, until we become masters of anger. In the same way, we become masters of jealousy, masters of sadness, masters of self-rejection.
All of our drama and suffering is by practice. We make an agreement with ourselves, and we practice that agreement until it becomes a whole mastery. The way we think, the way we feel, and the way we act become so routine that we no longer need to put our attention on what we are doing. It is just by action-reaction that we behave a certain way.
Ruiz, Don Miguel (2011-07-07). The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (A Toltec Wisdom Book) (Kindle Locations 168-174). Amber-Allen Publishing. Kindle Edition.