By Murphy Toerner

A client once expressed to me, “I’m getting to the place of “acceptance” that my husband will never be who I need and want him to be in certain areas.”

She could have easily substituted the following relationships for her spouse, including:  mother, father, sister, brother, child, aunt, uncle, cousin, niece, nephew, best friend, boss, co-worker, or pastor.  (Whew!!!  That was a comprehensive list!)

Consider the following:

  1. Human beings make lousy “judges!”  In fact, we are so inept that the LORD commands us not to judge anyone at all.  Matthew 7:1 says, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged.”  The Hebrew word here is “condemn.”  In other words, we are not to condemn others.  Only our Father in heaven is the only One righteous enough to be a just and holy Judge.
  2. Instead of judging each other, Jesus tells us (Matthew 5:44), that we are to, “…
    [L]ove your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”  The Hebrew word-picture for people who”persecute” is: “those who run you down with chariots.”  Jesus set our example.  Didn’t He pray for those who “persecuted” Him (Luke 23:34), “Father, forgive them;  for they no not know what they are doing!”

How can we follow the Savior?

  1. Draw upon the power of the Holy Spirit’s divine enablement to live as Jesus lived.

How do we not judge/condemn others?

  1. Challenge your “needs/wants meter.”
  2. Challenge your “expectations” of others.
  3. Accept that no human being can be there for you in every way you desire.
  4. Only God is perfectly consistent.  In Him, there is no variation or shifting shadow.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Look to Him for consolation, acceptance, love, reassurance, and anything else you need in any given moment.
  5. Our relationships with others have limitations.  People are imperfect and so are you.  None of us are able to meet the needs of those whom we love.  Give up your unrealistic expectations.  People are fallible human beings.

I pray that today you enter into a new level of Godly living.  Love others well.  Pray for those who hurt you and pray just as much for those who disappoint you and let you down.   God is working in that person’s life just as much as He is working in your life.

Peace be with you today.